“I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.” What does that mean? So, you rolled over and ended up on the right side instead of the left side. How is that the wrong side? Why do we say this? Is this really such a horrible thing? Are we so wedded to our “side of the bed” that it can upset our day and change our perspective on life?
I had this thought, but I was on the correct side of my bed. I could see my lamp, my pile of books, my hamper of cleanish laundry, and my view of the backyard out my window. I was on the right side of my bed. However, I was not on the right side of my life. I awoke disgruntled.
The feeling failed to dissipate when I discovered that I’d lost my ATM card just as I was leaving to take Gregory shopping for his Middle School camping trip. It certainly didn’t fade away when I recalled that the last place I saw the card was at Ralph’s on Saturday. It was now Monday.
I inched further onto “the wrong side of the bed” after the following interchange with with Ralph’s customer service.
“Hi, I’ve lost my ATM card and the last place I saw it and used it was Ralph’s. Do you guys have a lost and found?”
“Uh, uh, uh, um, er, yes.”
“Okay, great! Do you think you could look and see if my card is there? My name is..”
” Well, uh, the manager has the key to the lost and found and she’s supposed be here momentarily.” I look at the kitchen clock. It is 11:AM. “Uh, can you hold?”
“Sure!” Now, I listen to some canned music and the daily specials from some perky announcer person. Five minutes pass. I put the phone on speaker and start going over my emails.
Five minutes later. ( Total of 10 minutes on hold).
“Hi, Ralph’s Customer Service, how may I help you? Different voice, a female this time.
” Hi, I’m on hold for the manager. I need someone to check lost and found for my ATM card.”
“Okay!” Click! I am once again on hold.
5 minutes later ( Total 15 minutes)
“Hello, customer service, how can I help you?” The first voice again.
” Remember me? I’m was waiting on hold for the manager. “
“Oh there is no manager in the front of the store. You’ll have to wait until 12 for the next manager to come on shift.”
“You mean you don’t have a manager until 12? “
“No, the manager is not in the front of the store.”
“So you do have a manager in the store?”
“Yes, we do. That manager is not in the front of the store.”
“So, why can’t the manager come to the front and talk to me on the phone or pick up the phone in the back of the store?”
I’ll admit some attitude might have crept into my voice. This is Ralph’s. It is a large supermarket, but not The Mall of America. I’ve gone from one end of Ralph’s to the other with my gimpy knee without much trouble. Are there some special challenges for managers to face traversing one end of the store to the other? Are there rapids? A pool of piranhas? Man eating sharks? Killer bees? Packs of wild hogs?
“Can you call back in 10 minutes?”
“Fine” I hung up. Picked up my car keys, a different credit card, my middle school kid and headed straight to Ralph’s. I was there in 3 minutes.
Did you know they have a customer service button at the service desk? When you press it, a syrupy sweet computer voice sounds over the intercom asking for assistance in customer service. The voice repeats until someone comes to the desk to turn it off. It must be really annoying. I took perverse pleasure in it.
About 2 minutes later, here comes the manager. She’s running. Is that a piranha dangling from her belt? No, just a big key ring.
“Hi can I help you?” She pants.
“Yes, thank you. I was wondering if you could look in your lost and found and see if you have a lost ATM card. It may be here or may not be, but I’d like to rule this place out. ” Maybe it was the annoying intercom voice or the manager running across the store, or the image I had a of piranha biting her in the butt, but I took a big leap to my side of the bed.
“Okay, happy to.”
She opened up a drawer ( an unlocked drawer!) and began rummaging through it. It looked like one of my mom’s junk drawers. By the way, she had two credit cards there, but neither was mine.
Was I back on my side of the bed yet? No, but I found a great store fulfilling Gregory’s camping pack list — The Surplus Store. It’s at Venice and Motor. They have everything and they are way cheaper than Target. Additionally, they have a well organized, friendly staff of above average intelligence willing to listen to me whine about my lost ATM card with convincingly sincere sympathy.
I inched a little closer to my side of the bed.
Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.